Emmett, the Baby-Sitter
by StarrAngelofNarnia
Summary: Ok so I've fallen in love with this Lataine series. So, what happens when Emmett gets stuck baby-sitting preschool-age Reneesmee and Lataine? Shenanigans is inevitable. All Human. One Shot.


_I do not own Twilight or it's characters, however, Lataine is my own. This is from the Lataine Series. By the way, Emmett is referring to ESOL, he just doesn't know the educational terminology. Anyway, hope you enjoy!_

**Emmett POV**

I was so lucky to be the only one off today. Rose had a deadline to meet tomorrow, so she had to finish makeup and hair designs. Edward was at the hospital today. Bella wasn't teaching at the high school, but she had to go to E-saw classes today or something like that. Jasper had a full schedule of patients at his psychiatry clinic. And Alice was working on a new design for a wedding dress. I was the only one who didn't have to work. So lucky me, I was up bright and early and over at Edward's house to baby-sit Lataine and Renesmee.

When I first arrived, both girls were still sleeping. So not wanting to disturb them, I went to the living room and turned on the TV with the volume turned down. I watched TV for about an hour before both girls made their appearance. After a breakfast of Cinnamon Pop-Tarts, I took both girls back to their room to get dressed. Boy, was that a chore. Lataine was fairly easy, as Alice and Jasper had picked out her clothes the night before to pack. Renesmee on the other hand, had a whole closet to choose from.

Once both girls were changed, they went off to Renesmee's playroom and I left them to play on their own. For a while I could hear them playing from the living room. Eventually though, it got quiet. So, I decided to go check on them.

I walked back to the playroom to see what they were up to. Renesmee was searching around the room for a bunch of different toys and putting them in a black bag when she found them. Lataine was sitting on a foldout couch that had been put in the room to play on. "Hi Uncle Emmett!" she said perkily when she noticed me standing in the doorway. I walked into the room and took a seat next to her on the couch.

"What are you girls doing in here? It got quiet," I said.

"We're gonna play our favorite game!" Renesmee said to me as she threw a little plastic yellow and blue hammer into her bag. I was kinda scared to know what kind of games the two of them played with hammers. "You should play with us."

"What is your favorite game?" I wasn't going to say I would play until I knew what I was getting myself into. I worked with 4 year olds all the time. You never knew what they were going to do. It was a pattern. 4 year olds got into everything and 5 year olds knew everything.

"We're playing doctors office. I'm gonna be the doctor. You can be the patient and Lataine will be the helper doctor," she said.

I chuckled. "Alright then Dr. Renesmee. Tell me what I need to do."

"Well, first can you tell me what is wrong?" she asked.

I sat and thought for a minute. "Well, my head hurts and I'm coughing a lot." I faked a cough for emphasis.

"Ok then, can you lay down for me?" she asked as she dug around in her bag. Lataine jumped off the couch making room for me.

"Ok I want to listen to your heart first," she said, pulling a stethoscope out of her bag. I was surprised that instead of a plastic one she pulled out a real one. Then I noticed that this was one of Edward's old stethoscopes.

She put the rubber ear pieces into her ears, and she put the metal disk up to my chest.

"You sound good," she said dropping the stethoscope back into the bag. She pulled out a plastic flashlight the same colors as the hammer had been. She pretended to look into my eyes and ears with the plastic flashlight. "Say ahh," she commanded me.

I opened my mouth and did what she had told me to. I figured Edward must have shown her how to use all of the tools because she was using them all correctly, for the most part. She threw the light back into the bag and handed it to Lataine. She whispered into her ear and then turned back to me while Lataine dug through the bag.

"I'm sorry Uncle Emmett but you're going to need a shot to get better," she said.

"Oh no Dr. Renesmee please don't."

Lataine handed her a plastic syringe that looked very realistic, unlike some of the toys she had in the bag.

"Please, Dr. Lataine don't let her give me a shot," I fake begged.

"Rather now than in the hospital later," she said. I found it ironic because I had lost count of how many times I had told her that when treating her with a real illness. "But I can hold your hand," she offered sitting next to me on the couch.

"Okay. I guess if I have to…"

Lataine grabbed my hand. Renesmee climbed on the couch and stood on her knees so that she could reach the top of my arm. She didn't roll my sleeve up but just held the pretend syringe up to my arm. It made a clicking sound when she pushed down the top of the syringe. "All done, Uncle Emmett," she said dropping it back in her bag and then jumping into a w-sit position. My inner doctor took over, and I unfolded her legs, so her feet were no longer behind her but stretched out in front of her.

She pulled out a few of the toys. "When am I supposed to use these?" she asked.

"That's the blood pressure cuff and that's the thermometer. You use those first. Usually the nurse does that. That's called checking your vitals," I answered.

"Oopsie. Ok then. We should play again!" she said enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" Lataine cheered.

"Do you wanna be the doctor this time?" Renesmee asked Lataine.

"No. You can be doctor again."

"Ok then, I'll be doctor, Lataine, you can be the patient, and Uncle Emmett you can be the helper doctor."

I stood up off the couch and got on the floor on my knees.

"Uncle Emmett can you do her vitals?" She was proud of her ability to use her new word.

"Of course, Dr. Renesmee," I said. I pulled out the thermometer from the bag. It was the kind that usually went under your tongue. I didn't want to put it in her mouth, so I wasn't exactly sure what to do. Or more like, I wasn't sure what Renesmee was expecting me to do.

She leaned up to me to whisper in my ear. "Put it under her arm. That's what daddy would do,"

"Ok miss Lataine, I'm going to take your temperature," I said gently lifting up her arm and placing the plastic thermometer under it. She seemed to be expecting it.

Renesmee hit a button on it while it was under her arm. "Ok Uncle Emmett it should be done," she said, hopping from foot to foot.

I took the thermometer back and looked at it. I assumed Renesmee had been changing the temperature reading when she hit the button because what had read 98.6 , now read 102.4 . "Uh oh. It looks like you have a fever miss Lataine," I said placing the thermometer back in the bag. I found the blood pressure cuff and the stethoscope and pulled it out of the bag.

I wrapped the cuff around Lataine's arm and then put the stethoscope on myself. I put the silver disk of the stethoscope under the blood pressure cuff and puffed air through the tube attached to it. When I was done pretending to take her blood pressure, I put the cuff back in the bag and I put the stethoscope around Renesmee's neck. "Alright Dr. Renesmee. There you go."

"So Lataine, can you tell me why you are here today?" she asked her patient.

"My tummy hurts," she said, clutching her stomach.

"Did you throw up?" I was impressed. It seemed like Renesmee had picked up quite a bit from her dad. It seemed like it could have been real enough to me.

"No, not yet. But I don't want to."

Renesmee pulled the flashlight out of her bag. "Say ahh," she commanded.

"Ahhhhh," Lataine said, sticking her tongue out.

Renesmee looked into her ears and her eyes with the fake flashlight. Then she threw it back into her bag. She put her stethoscope on. "I'm going to listen to your heart now," she said. "Don't be scared. I won't hurt you." She put the stethoscope on her chest, very far away from where Lataine's heart was. I gently lifted her hand up, which was still holding the end of the stethoscope and placed it over Lataine's heart. Her eyes lit up. "Woah, I hear it!" she exclaimed.

I laughed. "Yep. You're supposed to. Does her heart sound healthy, Dr. Renesmee?" I asked.

"Yep," she said, popping the p.

"Are you going to listen to her lungs now?" I asked.

"How do you do that?" she asked, looking up at me.

I moved her hand around to Lataine's back. "Deep breaths," Renesmee commanded, catching on. Playing along, Lataine did as she was told. Renesmee moved the stethoscope around her back for about a minute in silence. "Woah that sounds weird. It just sounds like…like rufffrufffruff," she finally said. "Is it supposed to sound like that?" she asked, handing me the stethoscope.

The noise she described was odd. "Are you sure you aren't hearing her clothes?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno." She held out the stethoscope to me again. "Soooo…it's your turn!" I took the stethoscope from Renesmee and put it on. Lataine sat forward again, allowing me to listen. Her lungs were clear, confirming all Nessie had heard was clothing. "Yep, her lungs sound normal. And they don't sound like ruffruffruff," I said, chuckling.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Ok then." She thought for a minute and then whispered in my ear again. "How do I know if her tummy is ok?" she asked.

"Have her lie down first," I said.

"Lataine, can you lie down for me? I'm going to have my helper doctor check your tummy," she explained as Lataine lied down on the couch.

"I thought you were gonna do it, Dr. Renesmee?" I said.

"Well…" she thought for a minute. "I'll just help you do it."

"Ok then. Alright, Miss Lataine, this will probably tickle a little bit," I said. I pushed down on her stomach and she giggled. I did it a couple more times before tickling her. "Would you like to check?" I asked Renesmee.

She pushed down lightly on Lataine's stomach. "Okie dokie. Anything else you need to do?" she asked.

"Can I see your stethoscope, please?" She handed it to me. I put it back on and listened to Lataine's stomach with it. Then I handed it to Renesmee. "Now you listen."

"Woah, I didn't know you could listen to tummies with this thing!" she said, as she moved the stethoscope around Lataine's stomach. "It sounds all gurglie!" Both girls giggled.

"Okie dokie. All done. I'm going to have to give you ten shots." Lataine sat up. If this was real I would have really felt bad for the poor girl. She could barely sit through one. "Let me find my other shot," she said. She came back from her room a couple minutes later carrying a 'shot' that looked identical to the one currently in the bag.

"We're gonna do them two at a time kinda like you and daddy do when you give me my shots," she told me. When I had to give more than one shot, I would always have my nurse give one and I would give the second one at the same time to get it done faster. Whenever Renesmee would get her shots, I would have her dad give her the second one instead of the nurse.

Renesmee handed me the second 'shot.' "We're gonna do the ones in her arms first. When I say 3." She counted and we both gave Lataine her pretend shot.

"Ok now legs. You can get shots in your legs right? Yeah 'cause that's where I get mine when I won't sit still," she said, answering her own question. I laughed. "On 3." This time I gave Lataine her pretend shot in her leg.

"Ok. The rest of the shots are going in her tummy," she said helping Lataine to lay back down on the couch. "But I'm going to give them to her Uncle Emmett. I think you should hold her hand. She's getting squirmy."

I sat down on the couch and rested Lataine's head on my lap. While Renesmee finished up with the last 6 shots, I combed through Lataine's hair with my fingers. "I'm so glad this isn't real," she whispered, looking up at me. "Trust me. For your sake, I am very glad it isn't real. These don't hurt. Real shots would have."

"Ok, all done," she said.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. "I need to go answer my phone, girls. I'll be right back," I said, stepping over toys as I headed back out to the living room.

"Hello?"

"Hey Emmett. It's Jasper. I had a couple of minutes in between patients and I just wanted to see how you guys were doing? I'll be over to take the girls back to my house in a couple hours."

"We played Doctor's office all morning," I said. "Baby-sitting is certainly interesting."

"I've been there, done that. And I couldn't agree more. After lunch, let them go out back and play for a little while. If they go outside for like half an hour, it'll get some of their bottled-up energy out."

"Okay. When is nap time?"

"They don't usually sleep at home. But if they start getting cranky, you can put them down for naps at around 1:30, after they've gone outside."

"Nah, bro. I was asking about a nap for me. Or better still, isn't there a way to just transplant the bottled-up energy to me? I'll take it as an IV drip," I clarified.

"Um no, but I'll get right on that," Jasper said laughing. "Good luck and have fun."

I hung up the phone and returned my attention to the tiny humans.

"Alright Girlies, what are we doin' for lunch?" I asked, going back and sitting back on the couch. Lataine, the cuddlier of the two, crawled into my lap.

"Noodles!" Renesmee exclaimed.

"Ness, you're gonna turn into a noodle."

"Nope! My daddy says that can't happen!"

"Oh ya? Well I say, you are what you eat. And with as much as you eat noodles, you're going to turn into one. But I can cook noodles if Lataine is okay with it."

She hesitated. Lataine was always indecisive and I had just put her on the spot. "I guess that's okay."

"You sure, munchkin?" I asked, bouncing her on my knee. She nodded.

"Alright then," I said, standing up with Lataine still in my arms, now in a cradle carry. She squealed. "Time for Chef Emmett to go make lunch," I said placing her gently back on the floor before heading out to the kitchen.

Noodles didn't take too long to cook, only about 5 minutes. And since Renesmee ate more Ramen than the average college kid, I had gotten pretty good at cooking them just right. So, while the noodles boiled, I made myself a turkey sandwich. When the noodles were ready, I divided them up into two bowls and called the kiddos out to the table.

Both ate pretty quickly, wanting to return to their play. "How about we go outside for a while?" I asked, as I cleared the table.

"Okay!"

I opened up the sliding glass door leading to the playset and they both ran out, Lataine immediately headed for the swing and Renesmee for the slide. I sat down on the porch swing with a newspaper. They giggled and played for a bit but then they got quieter. You ever heard the phrase "silence is golden?" Well with little kids, silence was never golden. It usually meant trouble. Sure enough, I looked up right as Renesmee sprinkled sand onto Lataine's head.

I jumped up and moved to where they were playing in the sandbox. "Do I even want to know what you're doing? Renesmee, you cannot put sand in your cousin's hair."

"It's not sand, Uncle Emmett," Lataine said. "It's pixie dust!"

I sighed. Checking my watch, I realized it had almost been half an hour so it was probably a good time to head inside.

I sent a quick text to Bella. "I have a child with sand in her hair. Bath?"

"Please tell me it's not my hooligan," she replied.

I laughed at her colloquial. "No, not yours."

"Then yes, go ahead and wash her hair. There's a plastic cup on the side of the tub to rinse with, L'Oreal kids shampoo sitting in it. Use tangle spray to comb through it after."

A minute later, my phone buzzed again. "Be lucky it isn't both of them. They've both had 'pixie dust' in their hair every day for the past 2 weeks."

"Alright Lataine, we need to wash the sand, excuse me, _pixie dust_, out of your hair. Renesmee, I'm going to turn on Blue's Clues but you have to stay sitting on the couch until Lataine and I come back, okay?"

I turned on Blue's Clues before carrying a squirming Lataine to the bathroom. "No bath!"

I sighed. "Lataine, I have to get the sand out of your hair. If we don't get it out it's gonna make your hair itchy."

"But I don't like getting water in my eyes!"

I helped her take all of her clothes off and I placed her in the tub, now filling up with water. I gently got her to look at me. "If you don't like having your hair washed, you have to stop putting pixie dust in it, silly. You can play with pixie dust without putting it in your hair."

I got a washcloth out of the cabinet and folded it into a small rectangle. "Hold this over your eyes so you won't get water in them," I said, handing her the cloth. I slowly poured a cup of lukewarm water so that it went down the back of her head, wetting all of her hair without touching her face. I took the cloth from her and placed it on the side of the tub before squirting a bit of shampoo into my palm. Lataine kept her eyes tightly shut while I massaged her sandy scalp. I handed her the washcloth back so I could rinse the suds out of her hair without getting soap in her eyes. It took about 4 cups of water to get her hair thoroughly rinsed and by the time I had finished, she was squirming, and the washcloth was damp with water.

I pulled off the panda towel from the towel rack and helped her to carefully stand up before unstopping the drain. The panda towel had a hood that went over her head and it wrapped perfectly around her little body. I picked her up bride style, grabbed the tangle spray, a comb, and her clothes and headed back out to the living room where Renesmee was thankfully still entranced in Blue's Clues.

I helped her put her clothes back on and then sat her down in front of me to comb her hair. "Ow! Uncle Emmett, stop pulling! It hurts!"

Oh right. Lataine was miss sensitive head. I took a deep breath and started again, slower this time, working the comb through her wet hair that now fell in small ringlets down her back. I was so thankful when I had finally finished.

I sat back on the couch, Lataine still in my lap, and watched Blue's Clues with them. I didn't even notice the arrival of my siblings until after both little girls jumped up and ran to the door. Bella and Alice had both gotten here. "Thanks for watching them Em," Bella said, kissing me lightly on the cheek.

"Especially since you had to bathe one of them," Alice added with a chuckle. "But you saved me from the hassle."

"It's no problem little sis. I really do love getting to spend time with my nieces. And you're welcome Alice. But if you two ladies don't mind, I'm going home for a nap."


End file.
